OOTO - Pirate Edition
No one can stop me from adding squares to my jellyfish bingo card.
Hello and Happy Thanksgiving! I am currently out of the office and will be back on December 2.
I'm in the 10th consecutive year of my pirate era, which means I’m getting on a boat! I'm diving at every port, looking for the Caribbean's stingiest jellyfish and most treacherous sea urchins. So far I am undefeated at Jellyfish Sting Bingo™ and I plan to defend my title. (That means I get stung a lot.)
My last trip included an underwater marriage proposal where I famously said "OK," right after I detonated my eardrum and had to abort my dive. Apparently, I respect scuba communication protocol and sarcasm more than major life moments. I don't even know why he wants to marry me.
Yes, there is a video! No, you are not emotionally prepared for it. But here it is!
I'll be navigating this adventure like a parrot who taught itself Spanish and treats the drink package like a personal challenge. My now fiancé and I will wear matching outfits the entire time, because I'm a millennial and I refuse to waste a single serotonin molecule. Don't worry, I'll wear sunscreen!
If needed, you may summon me by screaming "Plymouth Rock" directly into the ocean. If you prefer something less magical, contact the following people:
[redacted]
Until I return, plunder responsibly!🏴☠️
Jellyfish Sting Bingo™ Champion