OOTO - Aquatic Horror Edition

Hello there and welcome to another one of my legendary out of office messages. I will be returning to the office on June 25.

I’m at a point in my life where I like to do one thing every day that scares everybody.

This time, it’s a blackwater dive in Mexico. Basically, a boat takes you miles offshore in the middle of the night (because nothing bad has ever started that way) then, they clip you to a rope and toss you into the bottomless pitch-black abyss. It's not really scuba diving as much as it's a full contact trust fall into the void!

I know, right? This is a TERRIBLE idea! There are even other people doing it with me. We're paying money for this and almost as if it's totally legit.

While I dangle there like human bait I may see some bioluminescent creatures. Or maybe I get eaten by a sea-rex <– which is what I now call sharks because they are, technically, dinosaurs.

You see, instead of going to therapy I have just started signing increasingly alarming waivers. I'm sure it's fine, it's not like the ocean is haunted by sunken ships full of dead guys or anything. Plus, now that it's called the "Gulf of America" I don't see what could possibly go wrong.

Email doesn’t travel well through dark ocean water, so I’ll reply if I make it back. If you need help from someone who is not cosplaying shark bait, please contact [coworker email]. I've gotten her up to speed with my work so she can take over for me until I return.

Haha, this message is going to be so much more hilarious if I actually get lost at sea! Please read it at my memorial service, I'm not even kidding.

At least I'm actually doing a sport now. These messages used to be mostly about drinking margaritas and doing dangerous stuff. Now I'm just doing dangerous stuff. I think this is called personal growth?

If you would like to schedule time to discuss the how big the ocean is (or anything else) once I'm back, please feel free to book a meeting on my calendar here:

I'll be happy to catch up if I return.